PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
More jobs, more tweets and another four year term.
Do more latenight television comedy shows.
MICROSOFT CEO SATYA NADELLA
Enable a Windows update without freezing millions of computers.
Send out resume.
Double up on my donepezil.
Enter the race for the Democratic nomination for president.
Prep for prison by binge watching Orange Is the New Black.
TURKISH PRESIDENT RECEP TAYYIP ERDOGAN
Send the next wave of Syrian refugees on to Europe.
Same as every year. Make the playoffs.
No more wine cave fundraising dinners with billionaires.
Get a clip-in manbun to make myself look hip.
HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI
Get started on the second impeachment before the first impeachment gets cold.
Stay out of the press.
Buy another red blazer jacket.
Make a pilgrimage to Mecca.
More Viagra, more orgies, less Hillary.
Remake the DNC in my image.
No more Mister Nice Guy.
ROBERT DE NIRO
Be more expressive of my feelings of President Trump.
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL
Speed up the judicial confirmation process and no more commenting on President Trump's tweets.
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER JUSTIN TRUDEAU
No more dressing in blackface.
Same as every year. More booze!
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