Gun Safety Tips
Never keep a loaded gun in a house with children unless you want to get rid of the little bastards.
Make one room in the house a "safe room" this is where you will keep your weapons and ammunition. Keep it locked at all times. It is also a good place to store the naked pictures you downloaded from the web.
Keep your weapons in one location and the ammunition in another location inside the safe room. This to prevent a child from accidentally finding your weapon but also so an intruder doesn't use your own weapon against you. There is nothing more embarrassing than getting pistol whipped and having your wife raped by someone using your weapon. You will be the laughing stock of the neighborhood.
Never hand a loaded gun to anyone. Always shoot the bullets in the chamber/magazine into the floor. Except when there is another floor below. If this is the case; shoot the bullets into the ceiling. Except when there is another floor above. If this is the case; you should manually remove the ammunition.
Make sure each family member knows how, when and WHEN NOT to handle a gun. Teach them to never hold a gun while you are holding a gun at them.
If you’ve recently purchased a new firearm; read the manufacturer
instructions and safety precautions included. Then ignore them. Don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. For Christsakes, you own a gun!
For personal shooting and safety instruction, consult with your local
gun dealer or shooting club. Or for more expertise instruction consult with your local neighborhood teenager. Many are in youth gangs or getting ready to go on mass shooting sprees and are quite knowledgeable on shooting and safety instruction.
Always unload your weapon before cleaning. A loaded gun is dangerous and cleaning it while loaded is stupid. If it fires and kills you, everyone will think you committed suicide.
Never clean your weapons while alone in your home listening to the police scanner. If a friend drops by he will think you are a psycho.
Clean your weapon using the proper oils and cloths. Never clean weapons by putting them in the dishwasher.
Have a female friend lubricate your weapon. Have her lubricate the barrel of your weapon in a slow, up and down motion. Use caution; cleansing of your weapon in this fashion can make it go off quite easily.
Taking a weapon with you in the car is legal in some areas. Understand the law. Never leave your weapon on the seat, someone might steal it. Place it in the glove compartment. It is a good idea to also keep gloves in the glove compartment. If you get stuck in the middle of road rage it is better to drive away. If you accidentally shoot the bastard that cut you off, be sure to wear the gloves before shooting the jerk. Without fingerprints it will be harder to trace the gun back to you.
Some areas allow you to carry a concealed weapon. In areas that do not allow a person to carry a concealed weapon, be sure it is concealed at all times, should someone one see it, you could land in jail.
Discharging a pistol at a range without proper ear and eye protection could result in permanent damage to those senses. Always wear protective gear while discharging and if any discharge appears yellow in color, you might want to see a doctor.
Know gun etiquette. At the range never ask to borrow someone else's ear protection. They don't want to get the ear infection you had last week.
When shooting at the range and hitting your target; never yell out, "Take that coppers!"
We hope these safety tips will be helpful in handling your gun.
Remember Safety Scott says,"It is better to be safe than sorry but better to be sorry than in jail. Always have an alibi."
DISCLAIMER: For those too stupid to realize, theses are not real safety tips. This is for entertainment purposes only.
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