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THE WEEKLY TIRADE

By Scotty Kowall

Some thoughts on the news. If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen an abbreviated 140 character version of some and if you don't follow me on Twitter maybe you should...
A new study from Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School finds cholesterol-lowering drugs, known as statins help erectile dysfunction. Bottom line statins get your cholesterol down and your penis up...
Are you a "Yummy?" Financial services firm, HSBC calls Young Urban Males "Yummies." They have good paying jobs and because they marry later in life they have disposable income and are into luxury goods. So guys if you are young, single with money and a good job you are a yummy. If you are married without money you're a dummy. To be clear HSBC only coined the word Yummy, I added the dummy part but if the shoe fits...
A new praying mantis species has been named after former Vice President Al Gore. Just like Gore, this species has been known to mimic being dead. Only difference Al Gore did it during his speeches...
A Nova Scotia man who pierced condoms to get his girlfriend pregnant was charged with aggravated sexual assault. He faces up to 18 months in prison. The good news. He still has some condoms left to take with him to prison...
Kim Jong Un has won reelection in North Korea with both 100% of the vote and 100% turnout. It is an efficient system. The North Korean government does the voting, saving the people time in having to actually go to the polls...
A California man has filed suit against the Las Vegas Downtown Grand Casino for losses after they allowed him to take out four lines of credit totaling $500,000 while he was in a drunken stupor. I believe this is called the Rob Ford defense. It is not my fault I was in a drunken stupor at the time I did something stupid...
Researchers have developed a computer program that uses DNA to create a 3D model of a face. Leave DNA and they get a picture. It’s a whole new meaning for the word "selfie." At one time a burglar only had to worry about leaving a fingerprint now he has to worry about leaving a hair. So now we have to be on the lookout out for people wearing hair nets as potential burglars...
A Dutch zoo's attempt to breed rare endangered false gharial crocodiles didn't work. The male false gharial holds the female down with his mouth during mating this caused it to suffocate and die. It could also explain why it is an endangered species. If it suffocates the female during sex, good chance it will not reproduce...
A family was hospitalized after eating steak laced with LSD bought from a Tampa Wal-Mart. Apparently they mistakenly got the Timothy Leary cut...
Google plans to open first its retail store in New York. Should be easy to find, it will get a top listing in Google search...
A man named Christopher Reeves was charged with meth possession and DUI while wearing a Superman T-shirt. Meth made him feel like Superman. That was all he was missing...
Business Insider has hired Anthony Weiner to write a political column for "his unique insider's perspective." That can only mean one thing, naked selfie pictures...
The adultery dating website Ashley Madison is being sued by a former employee who claims to have hurt her wrists while typing up hundreds of fake profiles. Here is a switch instead of getting spouses screwed an ex-employee is going to screw Ashley Madison. Apparently according to the ex-employee Ashley Madison makes up fake profiles. So you shouldn't feel bad if you don't get a reply from a beautiful girl, it is probably because she doesn't exist...
Senator Rand Paul on the NSA and CIA says, "I believe what you do on a cellphone is none of their damn business." Does this include playing poker? Or is Rand Paul in Sheldon Adelson's pocket like most Republicans that dream of one day being president...
Former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney wrote on President Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal, "Their failure to act when action was possible, and needed. Crimea to North Korea, from Syria to Egypt, and from Iraq to Afghanistan." Senator John McCain has described Obama's foreign policy as “feckless.” Senator Lindsey Graham said, "We have a weak and indecisive president that invites aggression." Republicans at least from their rhetoric consider America not sending troops and or money into every world conflict as a failure. They still believe America should be the world's policeman regardless of the cost. Most Americans that I know are tired of wars and the blood and money spent on them. It could be one of the reasons that neither Romney nor McCain are president today but they still don't get it. They still think leadership means sending others into battle regardless of the cost. Sometimes a country has to go to war but Syria or Crimea, are you kidding me? I feel for the people of Syria and Ukraine but not one American soldier should ever lose his life over those countries. If having a “feckless” foreign policy means not rushing into war, sounds good to me. Beating the drums of war doesn't seem like a winning issue for Republicans in 2016. The more things change the more the Republican Party stays the same. Romney, McCain and Graham are still the Republican voice on foreign policy and that is not good for Republicans all they need now is another Bush to join the chorus for 2016...

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