COMEDYZINE.COM

THE WEEKLY TIRADE

By Scotty Kowall

Originally published March 19, 2015

Things I would like to see...
What is on the Clinton "home" server that held all of Hillary Clinton's State Department e-mails. Just to see what kind of porn Bill was watching. I am guessing a lot of big teen girls with large cigars...
Update.
We haven't yet seen what Hillary has been hiding on her home server but thanks to WikiLeaks we can see what Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta has in his e-mails. Reading some of the e-mails shows the Hillary team to be anything but honest and trustworthy which is of course no surprise. As Hillary Clinton said in a paid speech, "you need both a public and a private position," which accounts for her lies. Silly us, we didn't know she had a position for the public and a position for her establishment cronies. I guess that makes lying okay in a Clinton world...

Things I would like to see...
The e-mails from senators sent to the Justice Department asking for special treatment for former CIA Director David Petraeus. Petraeus gets a slap on the wrist for leaking classified information because he knows senators from both political parties while the people he was in charge of get long prison time for doing the same. He also got off easy for having an illicit affair while serving in the military. If you don't know senators, justice is a long and winding road that leads to your prison cell door...
Update.
Ditto for Hillary Clinton...

Things I would like to see...
Regional sports networks streaming their networks in their region so folks don't have to buy expensive cable or satellite to see their teams play in market games. The regional sports networks pay teams for rights; they should stream their networks directly on Roku. Fox Sports Networks I am talking to you. If someone wants to watch a FOX RSN why do they have to get cable or satellite? Why not stream the local RSN for local fans who don't want to pay or can't afford the exorbitant monthly cable or satellite fees? Streaming regional sports networks would mean more people watching the network and therefore more people watching their commercials. As more people move to Roku, AppleTV and other streaming services and away from costly cable and satellite providers it only makes sense for regional sports networks to stream their networks in their local area and get their sports networks out to more people...
Update.
Fox Sports Networks now streaming for in market games. You have to buy Sling TV but for $25.00 plus tax (The government has to get their cut) per month, you can stream your regional NHL games. So thank you Fox Sports Network and NHL for making this happen. You get several other channels but I only bought Sling TV so I could watch Florida Panthers games and probably won't watch too many other channels...
Updated Again 10/26/16.
So far Sling TV has been huge letdown. Even though I am supposed to get the Panthers game in my region, Sling has a notice that the game is blacked out and is not available in my area. I got back to watch the games in the third period and tweeted Sling the problem. With minutes left in the game it came on. Last game same problem and the game didn't come on until it was over. Unless this gets fixed which I seriously doubt because Sling hasnít been able to figure it out yet; I will be canceling Sling TV as it is not worth the $25.00 if I can't watch my local NHL team of which I am supposed to be able to watch...
Updated Again 10/28/16.
For the complete epilogue of Sling TV click here.

Things I would like to see...
The National Hockey League allow the puck incidental contact with the netting above the glass. A puck tips the netting falls back on the ice and they blow the whistle. Why? All it does is slow the game down. If a puck hits the netting and falls to the ice the play should continue. If the NHL really wants more goals, quit stopping the game for tired players to get off the ice when puck makes incidental contact with the netting. I am not saying a player can shoot the puck at the netting have it bounce back and continue but a puck shot from the defensive zone that deflects on the netting and falls back on the ice should not be whistled dead. It just seems like a stoppage of play that didn't have to happen...

Things I would like to see...
The Florida Panthers make the playoffs. In the last decade they have only made the playoffs once. They are a fun team to watch and yes they do have fans. That said, when their season ends I end my DirecTV service and start streaming on Roku. NHL GameCenter doesn't have in market games so no way I waste money on that. So unless Fox Sports Florida starts streaming, I won't be watching much hockey next year. I am tired of spending about a hundred bucks a month on satellite for a lot of channels I don't watch. I am cutting the cord baby and I can't wait...
Update.
I did cut the cord and am happy I did. I went a year without watching hockey on television and actually broke my hockey addiction. The Panthers not only made the playoffs but won their division. Fox Sports Florida started streaming and now I can watch a very exciting Panthers team at a fair price...
Updated Again 10/26/16.
Fox Sports Florida started streaming however as noted above, Sling TV has proven to be a poor service for watching your local RSN and I will probably not watch much hockey on TV this year when I cut the Sling cord...

Things I would like to see...
Senator Marco Rubio send off a letter to Raul Castro just like the one he signed to Iran's Ayatollah Khamenei. If letters to America's enemies are a good thing why doesn't Rubio send off a letter to Raul Castro advising him not to work with President Obama and only the senate? Rubio wants to keep the Cuban embargo and keep punishing the good people of Cuba. Rubio has no new ideas on Cuba only more of the same. And he wants to be president...
Update.
Well, his presidential dreams are just that, a dream. It isn't going to happen next year, maybe next decade.

Things I would like to see...
Sarah Palin officially run for president. The only woman considering a run for the Republican nomination is a very boring Carly Fiorina whose claim to fame is a rocky tenure as chief executive officer of Hewlett-Packard. The Democrats have the usual Hillary running but she always seems to be apologizing for her past mistakes, whether on voting to give President Bush authority to go to war with Iraq, the handling of the Benghazi embassy or State Department e-mails. The presidential race needs Sarah Palin to liven it up and kick the other candidates in the testicles. Regardless of your politics you have to admit Sarah Palin isn't afraid to speak her mind and always is entertaining. The woman has chutzpah and more personality than all the potential candidates from both political parties. I rarely agree with her but she always gives me something to write about...
Update.
I thought Sarah Palin would liven up the campaign but Donald Trump is even better. Talk about speaking one's mind, Donald Trump has changed the presidential campaign in so many ways, from his sexual bravado peccadilloes in released secret tapes to his unabashed condemnation of Bill Clinton's past sexual encounters and Hillary's condemning of the women who accused Bill of sexual battery. Donald Trump has livened up the campaign like nobody else could and I like it...

Things I would like to see...
Less of Dick Cheney on news websites and television. He only reminds me of how bad Bush and Cheney were. George W. Bush seems like a nice guy who got really bad advice from those around him. Dick Cheney is like George Costanza, everything he says do the opposite for success...

Things I would like to see...
Someone from the Bush Administration admit going to war with Iraq and taking out Saddam Hussein was a bad idea that led to a stronger Iran in the region and Islamic State fighters devouring Iraq and Syria. President Ronald Reagan was an ally of Saddam because he knew he kept Iran at bay. It wasn't that Reagan liked the guy; he knew Saddam was Iran's enemy. Today Iran's Shiite militias are helping the Iraqi Shiites rid them of Sunni Islamic State fighters while Kurds and Sunni locals wonder once the Islamic State fighters are gone what will happen to them. Iran now has fighters in Iraq, Syria, Lebanon and Gaza. The current mess should not be a surprise, it was obvious what would happen if Saddam was taken out but everyone in favor of going to war failed to look at the facts and some of those people want to be president. Being for the 2003 Iraq War should be an automatic disqualifier for every presidential nominee. If you couldn't see how the dominos would fall then you shouldn't even be in the game now...

Things I would like to see...
Keith Olbermann on television. I have to remember he is on ESPN. Since they quit covering the NHL I quit watching them, well except for football and poker. ESPN may claim to still cover the NHL but it is so little it gets lost in all the clutter of sports that I have little or no interest in that they do cover...

Things I would like to see...
Mixed martial arts included in the Summer Olympic Games. MMA fits the criteria; it requires great athleticism and skill. There was a time I wanted to see poker included in the Olympics but once you start with poker, you then have to add bridge or chess and before you know all the video gamers want in it. The rule for getting a sport or game into the Olympics should be that a competitor will break a sweat. I know if you are facing down Daniel Negreanu in a heads-up you are going to break a sweat but that doesn't count...

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