COMEDYZINE.COM

HILLARY CLINTON'S
TO DO LIST

Play the woman card checked

Play the race card checked

Play the seniors card checked

Send the Over the Hill Gang of Albright & Steinem to campaign for the women's vote checked

Hire Bernie's campaign staff to layer over current staff checked

Flip flop on subsidizing public college tuition to win over Bernie supporters checked

Flip flop on a public option for Obamacare to win over Bernie supporters checked

Cross fingers while proclaiming myself a progressive checked

Send volunteers to assisted living facilities to get my supporters fired up checked

Remind Bill everything he says can be recorded on a smartphone checked

Call in my African American favors checked

Claim top secret documents on personal e-mail server is a vast right-wing conspiracy checked

Get Botox injection checked

Meet Whoopi Goldberg for Brazilian wax session checked

Hot steam bath with Huma checked






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